Better Together

At APEX, we spend a great deal of time talking about individual performance. Breath, attention, recovery, resilience, deliberate practice– these are all deeply personal skills.   But there is another component that is just as important—and one that is often overlooked– community.

In The Way of Excellence, Brad Stulberg writes that excellence is rarely achieved in isolation. He describes coaches who intentionally created opportunities for athletes to share meals together—not because eating together would improve jump shots or conditioning, but because belonging changes how people show up for one another.

Research continues to support the idea that strong communities foster greater resilience, improve well-being, strengthen accountability, and remind us that we are part of something larger than ourselves. When people feel connected, they are more willing to learn, more willing to persevere, and more likely to support others in their own growth.

The ancient Greeks had a word that captures this beautifully: philia. Often translated as brotherly love or deep friendship, philia is more than affection. It reflects mutual respect, shared purpose, generosity, and the commitment to help one another flourish. It reminds us that excellence is not only about becoming our best selves—it is also about helping others become theirs.

When we founded APEX, we each brought different experiences, perspectives, and strengths to the table. Neither vision would have been complete on its own, but together they became something far greater than either of us could have created alone.

 In many ways, that's how every healthy community grows. Every person adds something unique, and together those gifts create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.

It reminds us of the timeless children's story Stone Soup. A weary traveler arrives in a village where everyone, believing they have little to spare, insists they have nothing to share. With patience and ingenuity, he fills a pot with water, places a simple stone inside, and begins to make "stone soup." Curious onlookers gather, and one by one, each contributes what they can—a carrot, a potato, herbs, onions, a handful of grain. Individually, each offering seems modest, but together they become a meal that nourishes the entire village. The stone was never what made the soup remarkable—it was the willingness of each person to contribute. With each ingredient that is added, something greater begins to emerge—not simply a meal, but a community discovering the power of shared purpose.

Perhaps that is why potlucks have endured for generations. Everyone arrives carrying something. Some bring a favorite recipe.Some bring dessert. All bring something to share.  Every contribution matters because what is being created is more than a meal. It is connection. That is the spirit we hope to celebrate as we gather on August 8 at Paul's gym for our first APEX Community BBQ.

This isn't a performance workshop. There won't be lectures or breath-hold challenges. It's simply an opportunity to spend time together, share a meal, tell stories, meet new members of our community, and celebrate the relationships that make APEX what it is.

So bring a dish. Bring a friend. Most importantly, bring yourself. Because while we each come with different experiences, different talents, and different stories, it is those differences that make this community stronger.

At APEX, we believe performance begins with the individual– but excellence grows in community.